It’s 5 AM Sunday Morning and the security line at Austin’s Bergstrom International Airport stretches the length of a city block. Yet beyond its sheer inconvenience, the density of the line at this seemingly “off-hour” reveals a harsh truth that we all learned at this year’s SXSW: As much as we believe to the contrary, we are not unique and beautiful snowflakes. In the age of instant information, there are no unheard of bands, secret shows, or exclusive parties. We are all competing for the same scarce resources. In other words, space is limited on the cool train; be prepared to wait on queue.
Beyond that, the following is a quick overview of what I saw, contemplated, overhead, and consumed during the final three days of the festival.
Top 5 Shows:
1.
Local Natives @ the Brooklyn Vegan/M for Montreal Party
2.
The Middle East @ the Day Stage Café
3.
Mayer Hawthorne @ the Converse Party/Levi’s Fader Fort
4.
Toro Y Moi @ the Vice Party
5.
The XX @ the Village Voice Party
Honorable Mention:
Broken Social Scene @ Stubb’s (Bringing Emily Haines out to sing “Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl” almost sent me into a state of anaphylactic shock);
Miike Snow @ Galaxy Room Backyard.
Top 5 Bands I Wish I Saw:
1.
Broken Bells
2.
The Antlers
3.
Class Actress
4.
The Sandwitches
5.
Savoir Adore
Best Random Celeb Sightings:
1. Bill Murray waiting in line to see
Delorean- Not only did the girl running the door asked to be photographed with him, but after he was gracious enough to oblige, she left him waiting in line.
2. Dakota Fanning @ the Filter party featuring
Uffie and
Miike Snow- We literally polled 7 to 10 people before coming to the consensus that yes… Dakota Fanning was in the house and no… she has not yet reached the age of 18.
3. Mischa Barton getting out of a Pedicab- Hard to believe, but the bicycle carriage is actually a viable form of transportation in Downtown Austin. Bonus hilarity points for Mischa disembarking from one while being wrapped in a blanket by the driver and two other royal subjects. Bill Murray should take heed.
Strangest Running Subplot:
The posi-rock, “Is this a Tony Robbins Seminar?” between songs banter of lead singers. Kevin Drew of BSS literally forced the crowd at Stubb’s to chant, “I can be anything I want to be,” before launching into the encore finale, “Major Label Debut (Fast).”
Similar sentiments were echoed by the Damian Abraham of
Fucked Up, who in between disrobing and revealing a torso in dire need of the soon-to-be-invented, sit-up powered electrolysis machine, mused that “talent is overrated. If you want to be in a band, just do it. You can’t be worse than we are.” For Abraham, self-deprecation comes at no extra charge.
Best Random Moment:
On Friday night, amid the scores of venues filled artists showcasing their talents, we walked past an open door which peered into a dimly lit stairwell. On the stairwell, stood a lone, bearded man strumming on an acoustic guitar and singing into the Austin night for an apparent audience of no one. Here’s hoping that next year the stairwell becomes an official SXSW venue.
Most Fucked Up Graffiti (Warning: Highly Offensive):
I walked into a port-a-pottie on Friday and in apparent honor of the passage of Health Care Reform, some sincere racist had scrawled a message over the opening. With an arrow pointed downward towards the chasm, the message read, “Free Obama Dolls Below.”
(Please note: I only repeat the above message to bring light to the political and social climate in Austin and not to give whomever wrote the message an alternate platform to voice his sentiment).
Girls will Be Girls (i.e. The "Fucking Bonkers” Award for the “Crazies” I Encountered Along the Way):
Grand Prize: To the girl who told me I had pretty eyes and then proceeded to “seductively” dance hump a beach ball for the 15 minutes that followed. If only I had the footage a cameraman surreptitiously videotaped at my behest.
1st Runner Up: To the under 5 foot “chode” that grabbed me by the arm and then attempted to mount me and attack my face with her halitosis lips of death. When she asked me, “Where’s your girlfriend?” I immediately countered, “She’s coming...” But she remained undeterred, “ Until she comes, try something new.” Somehow, I resisted the urge to say, “How about parasailing?” and pushed her away.
Final Thought (SXSW/Coachella Comparison):
SXSW is Coachella if:
1. Every stage had a line and required a VIP Bracelet;
2. The temperature fluctuated upwards of 40 degrees during your stay (It was fucking 35 degrees on Saturday in Austin);
3. Every band did their sound checks in your presence; and
4. The grassy field non-chalance was transformed into the lecherous bedlam of Bourbon Street.
Complete List of Sets Attended:
The Soft Pack, Miike Snow (x2), The Morning Benders, Fucked Up, Twank Star, Mayer Hawthorne, Broken Social Scene, Minus the Bear, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, The XX, Frightened Rabbit, Yacht, Sleigh Bells, Glass Candy, Jonna Lee, Basia Bulat, Delorean, Lissie (x2), The Middle East, Mariachi El Bronx, Fitz and the Tantrums, Free Energy, Dawes, Local Natives, The Very Best, Major Lazer, She & Him, Electric Electric, Uffie, Toro Y Moi.
- Matt (signing off from SXSW 2010)
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