Our weekly "Ok, this is why I hate kids like you" award goes to the incomparably sexy photo-journalistic duo of Mich and Stac, who pulled off a whopping feat of weasel-ometry this past Friday. As you can probably guess from the "Holy Hefner, we have ass shots!" above, somebody in the ihkly inner circle was backstage on Friday night. What you probably didn't realize is that the authors of these photographs are muthafuckin' hustlaz. So in honor of their grifting ways, let's play everyone's favorite parlor game, how to go from being ticketless to hanging out backstage with Small Black and Yacht in three simple steps.
Step 1: Using your dashing looks and feminine wiles, convince some asshole (ahem, yours truly) to email you his digital tickets.
Step 2: Cry poverty to the ticket-taker (I don't have a printer, my blackberry doesn't zoom, I'm being deported to a Northern European country and this is my parting wish, or my personal favorite, I'm fostering the move towards a paperless society). As a result of these hopefully tearful statements, the benevolent ticket ripper will take pity on you and let you right inside without scanning the bar code on your digital tickets. Subsequently, your second set of accomplices use the bonafide tickets to enter and voilà, 4 people inside for the price of 2. Btw I'm a lawyer and can assure you that the manuever described above is 100% legal.
Step 3: While grabbing a drink at the bar, make moon eyes at the guitarist from the opening band. When he asks to buy you a drink...say something totally charming like, "I bet this drink would taste better from backstage" or "Your set was amazing. Hey, I've never seen Jona Bechtolt or Claire Evans's asses up close before...are their buttoxes as taut as I've imagined?" The clearly brilliant guitarist will realize you want to go backstage and he'll escort you to take your rightful spot behind the golden groupie curtain...
P.S. Yacht is amazing live...even if their album is not your cup of tea, I totally recommend catching their exuberant set in person. Washed Out and Small Black, too.
Photography Courtesy of MvB w/ assistance from Staci O.